Thursday, July 16, 2020

Fear of losing loved one. A young person came with fear of losing close one and issue of insecurities. Session.... I am in a sandy & bushy open area. Few men & women are filing drinking water. I am a man going towards my mud hut. It is a small hut and I live with wife and two kids. We sleep on floor. Life is fine despite being poor. I am almost 30, my married life is good. My wife wears saree. It is morning; I am picking some tool and going out. There are four more men from my neighbour with me. It is very hot and we are wearing dhoti only. We reach at a farm. We work here. We sow vegetables. We take our lunch in the fields. We all are worried. All of us are discussing the problem due to weather. There is no rain. Water scarcity is too much. Even there is scarcity of drinking water. Some more time passed. Now there is no work and no drinking water. All are leaving the village. We are walking by foot. My kids are young 5 & 7 yrs old respectively. We are in search of water. After many days we reach a place. There is a well with water. There is enough open space around the well. We all drink water and sleep there in the open. This is very old time. This place belongs to another king. Next day king’s men came and all the men are going with them. Women and children stay near the well. We are climbing a small hill to reach the palace. King listens to us and allows us to make huts and stay around well. We came back. We all are making small huts for us. Most of us cook outside the hut. Now we work in the fields of people from here. We get sufficient food for the family. I am now 40 year old. My wife is very sick. She is lying outside hut and having pain in abdomen. She is writhing in pain. We all are watching her. Women are holding her. She died. I am crying. I am worried. Now I have to raise the kids alone. We cremated her outside the village. Her name was Sheetal. Now other women help my kids. My daughter now cooks food. Life is moving on. My daughter is grown up. Everyone is telling me to get her married. I married her in another village. I have grey hair now. I remember my wife. Now only my son is with me. I am not able to work. There is some problem in my right hand. My son is married and left along with his wife for some other village. I tried to stop him but he did not agree. I felt very bad. I keep on sitting outside the hut. The neighbours give me something to eat. My right hand problem is worsening. I died in the day sitting outside the hut at the age of 70. I was remembering my wife at the time of death. I was sad. In my life everybody helped me. My neighbours are cremating me outside the village. Now I am in light and at peace.