De-ja-vu and past life link
A teenage girl
came to find some answers from her past life. She said, Dr Vandana, I feel some
issues with me since my 7th class. I feel the fear of loss of
parents. There is frequent hollowness and unwantedness, from such a young age. I
felt fantasies of being sexually used, even though I was not aware of these
things at such a young age. I felt guilty as I grew up.
Session……
I am 12 yrs old
girl going to market to buy something. Now I am going back very fast as I have
to reach before evening. This is some hilly area. It is early 19th
century. If I will be late, a man will hit me on my hands. I reached the home. I
am in a room. There are three more kids. We are 2 girls and 2 boys. It is a big
house. The owner is rich. He gave us a very ordinary room. He gives us very
little food but we are still happy that at least we have a roof on our head. We
treat each other as brothers and sisters.
That man is
physically abusing me. It seems it is a routine with me. I am not resisting. It
feels I am used and addicted to it now.
It is morning. I am
just remembering my childhood. My home was very small. I lived with my parents,
cow, brother and many sisters. There was lot of work in my home. My father an angry
man. One day he got angry, held my hand and took me out of the home. He left me
at a bridge but I ran after him and reached back home. I am in home and feel
afraid now. I feel nobody loves me. I am only 5 yrs old. After few months, my
father got angry again. This time he held hands of me and my younger sister
also. On the way my sister freed herself and ran back to home. He left me very
far on some road and disappeared. After few seconds a man came on a horse,
stopped and touched my cheeks. He picked me up and brought to the house where
we live now. There are two more kids here. Later in the night he comes again,
took me to another room and abused me physically. I am crying with pain. He is
laughing and then he went. The other 2 boys and girl came and sat with me as if
they care for me. I feel very sad when I remember this.
My life is going on
like this. I am young now. I am 27 and still in this house. I feel I have
developed some complex due to physical abuse. I remember my home but I never
tried to go and find it. I have marks of hitting on my hands. Man seems old. We
all work for him only as if we are thankful to him for giving us shelter.
The man is very
old, 95 yrs and I am 38. The boys went somewhere. The girl is here and works
with me. The man died. Now we keep many girls here. I feel most them are abandoned.
We both take care of them. I feel the pain of loneliness and being abandoned. We
do some work and sell things for our running expenses.
It is time of my death.
I am 46. Only girls are there. They are giving lot of love to me [visibly crying].
The girls buried me in the garden of that house. They do not know how to do
cremate?
In light the feeling of forgiveness for
father came. Lesson learnt “Let GO”. Reorientation…… Dr
Vandana, when I searched and planned my session
with you, my father had a dream glimpse in which he felt that he abandoned me in
some life. In light an understanding came that my father came back on that road
after one hour and could not find me because that man had already picked me and
taken away with him. He searched for me, it became dark, but he could not find
me. This understanding helped me to forgive my father completely. Thank you Dr
Vandana, I got many answers.
